Speed dating with Oreos

This year may mark Oreo’s 100th birthday, but 2012 will go down in Oreo infamy for another reason: the Candy Corn Oreos.

The much buzzed about limited time-only cookies tricked, or treated, those who dared to try them.

Back in the beginning of October, I tried unsuccessfully to get my hands on those elusive Candy Corn Oreos, but it seemed that I had missed the boat. During my search, I noticed that there were more varieties of Oreos than just Double Stuffed and Mini Oreos. A significant portion of the cookie row at Target had been taken over by Oreos.

I had to see what all the fuss was about, so I asked the good people at Oreo (who were great and patient despite a shipping mishap) to send me samples of some of the more unusual flavors. I had the extremely difficult task of eating one (or two or three) of each kind.

It was a little like speed dating. There were a couple I would be willing to give a second chance (that would likely include a glass of milk), but with others, I knew we wouldn’t work out from the first bite. Here are my findings:

Oreo Heads or Tails: These have a chocolate cookie on one side and a vanilla cookie on the other. Eating one tasted like biting into an Oreo and a Vienna Finger at the same time. If you do get these, twist off the top and eat the two pieces separately. (Not interested in seeing again. I don’t think we had very much chemistry.)

Peanut Butter Crème Oreos: The moments I spent with these weren’t the worst, but they did make me think that putting jarred peanut butter on a regular Oreo would taste much better. I will have to remember that for the next time. (Sadly, not interested in seeing again. You looked great, but I don’t think we would work out.)

Golden Oreos: I understand the concept of the Golden Oreo, but that doesn’t mean I have to like the cookies. There really wasn’t anything special about them. (Only interested if Golden Oreo can introduce me to his friend, Vienna Finger).

Cool Mint Oreos: As you may have guessed, the mint ones taste a little like Thin Mints (which I love). They charmed their way into my heart with their suave and smooth demeanor. I might not share these. (Am definitely interested. Please text me, Cool Mint Oreos.)

Coconut Delight Oreo Fudge Cremes: These were…not Oreos. I’m not a huge coconut fan to begin with (unless we are talking about piña coladas), but these didn’t even taste enough like coconut for that to matter. (Not interested. Sorry, Coconut Delights, it’s not you, it’s me.)

Oreo Fudge Cremes: Coconut Delight’s better looking brother left a slightly better impression. At least with these, I could still see how they are in the Oreo family. (May be interested in seeing again, but won’t be anxiously waiting by my phone for him to call.)

Halloween Orange Crème Oreos: While I was not as excited when I first saw these one as I would have been if Candy Corn Oreos had shown up, I was won over by the adorable ghosts, pumpkins and other cute festive designs on the cookies. These tasted the closest to regular Oreos once you get over the fact that the center is bright orange. (Interested in meeting again, but may have to wait until next year. I heard Halloween is still on the rebound from a recent breakup.)

Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreos: I tried not to judge a book by its cover, but what was inside these Oreos was as disappointing as I first thought it would be. The chocolate cookie and the artificial tasting yet vaguely strawberry flavored and gritty textured filling did not sit well with me. I could not wait until the four-minute date was over. (Not interested. I really, really hope I don’t bump into you on the subway.)

To be fair, there is a good chance you are always going to compare potential boyfriends/girlfriends to your first love. In this case, I must admit that I subconsciously compared each new flavor Oreo to the original. And none of them matched the deliciousness of the chocolate cookie, vanilla filling sandwich cookie. Here’s to another 100 years of milk’s favorite cookie finding new loves and breaking hearts.

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